Image: Shaheen Muhammed
Meghna Gulzar with Konkona Sen Sharma on the sets of Talvar
Filhaal dealt with the issue of surrogacy, but failed to strike a chord with the audience. Actor Sanjay Suri, who played one of the leads in the film, says, “The film was ahead of its time… it was a mature subject, something that she was passionate about. And Meghna did not come across as a rookie director, although it was her first film. She was in complete control.”
The debacle, though, hurt Meghna so much that she began doubting her capability as a filmmaker. “It [the failure] discouraged me. Some of the reviews got a bit personal and vicious. To deal with that was not pleasant,” she admits. The damage was severe; the mind began playing its games. Meghna went into a shell, staying within the confines of her Bandra apartment, and cutting off contact with the outside world.
“I did not do anything… I was only watching TV, movies, and reading. I had an anti-social phase; I did not step out of the house… I wouldn’t go to meet my husband’s or my own friends and skipped birthday parties and get-togethers,” says Meghna. “Because I did not want to answer the question, ‘What are you doing next?’ I did not have an answer, and that’s the only question I would be asked.”
After a while, she did not want to have a conversation with her family either. They would ask what was she doing, and she could only mutter, “I am trying.” In that phase of self-assessment, she even wondered if she should go against her sensibility as a filmmaker and try something radically different. Amid all this, she wrote a book on her father, Because He Is in 2003; it was published in 2004.
Suri says Meghna is a warm and sensitive person, and she took the criticism personally. It took her five years to make her next film, Just Married (2007); in the same year, she also directed Puranmaashi in Dus Kahaniyaan, an anthology of 10 short films. Success eluded her again, and after the tepid response to Just Married, Meghna decided to shut shop. “I told myself I am not going through this again. It’s over,” she says. The question of changing her sensibility was also over. She was fighting a lonely battle. “Time moved slowly… My husband was working and weekends would come after a long time. I would be all alone before my son was born,” she recalls. The creative process, however, did not leave her. It would manifest itself in different forms: Gardening, renovating her father’s house, interior decoration, painting, drawing on the computer.
Meghna convinced herself that films didn’t define her completely and that she should now have a child. “We need to turn inwards and look at life beyond making films,” she told herself. After her son Samay was born in 2010, she was clear that she would spend the next couple of years looking after him.
As he grew older, she was confronted with the question that had tormented her in the past: “What next?” It took the stern words of producer-director Vishal Bhardwaj for Meghna to come out of her hibernation. “You can’t use your son as an excuse,” he told her bluntly. And thus she returned after an eight-year hiatus with Talvar (2015), which was written and co-produced by Bhardwaj.
Image: Hitesh Mulani
Alia Bhatt says the director is all about depth and emotions
"I look at Talvar as my rebirth as a filmmaker, because as a director I got to understand what I am good at: True life. It engaged me in a way that fiction didn’t,” says Meghna of the film, based on the 2008 double murder of 13-year-old Aarushi Talwar and her family’s domestic help Hemraj Banjade. The film was made on a budget of ₹9 crore and earned ₹38 crore, giving Meghna her first hit. But it was not enough for her to heave a sigh of relief. “I couldn’t. I had seen the 15 years before that… But I could see the happiness in my family. That was my yardstick. My family always told me I am happiest when I am working. A big part of my personality murjhaoed [shrivelled] when I didn’t work for 15 years.”
With Raazi, based on the book Calling Sehmat by Harinder S Sikka, a fictionalised account of a true story, Meghna blossomed as a filmmaker and further established her credentials. However, despite its success, she refuses to associate the word ‘confident’ with herself. “I’d say ‘comfortable’. I am now comfortable with my instinct,” she says.
The film’s protagonist Alia Bhatt says, to Meghna success does not mean ₹100 crore at the box office: “She is overtly modest about herself. Success to her is the love and involvement that she gets from people. She is not a materialistic person. She is all about depth and emotions.”
Meghna attributes the film’s performance to her diligent team. “The integrity of each person involved was so pure, and the dedication so complete… that’s what shows,” she says. Those who have worked with her assert that she led from the front. Says Bhatt: “She is a focussed director, who is sure of what she wants. She sees her world clearly and the attention to detail in everything that she does is immaculate. Meghna is not a taskmaster, but she is the boss; you cannot take her for granted.”
Bhavani Iyer, who co-wrote Raazi with Meghna, agrees. “She is a meticulous person, and an academician at heart. There is no ‘chalta hai’ with her… there is no liberty that you can take,” says Iyer, who is also working on the filmmaker’s next, a movie on Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw. “She is a passionate and driven person, but not ambitious. It’s a strange dichotomy. She is such a purist; I cannot believe somebody can be like this and be a director.”
Image: Hitesh Mulani
Gulzar admires the resilience shown by his daughter during her tough times
Books—from ones on the Indian Army to those by Saadat Hasan Manto—populate the shelves of Meghna’s cosy workspace in Bandra. A greeting card from her son is pinned on a soft board, while a writing board has options of possible opening shots along with pending research on incidents related to her next project. The filmmaker says she does not put pen to paper unless she clearly visualises the idea, with a beginning, middle and end. In the case of non-fiction, she goes by instinct.
Her affinity towards real-life stories is obvious. True life, she says, is an endless source of fabulous stories and inherently stronger than fiction. One such tale that has touched her heart is that of acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarwal. “It is traumatic as well as inspiring. It is something I definitely I want to tell,” she says. As Iyer puts it, “Meghna has a strong literary personality hiding within her, and that helps her get stories beautifully. She has seen a slightly steeper curve towards success, and therefore has a keen understanding of people.”
Her father also approves of her choices. “She is in step with futuristic cinema,” says Gulzar.
Filmmaking is a laborious process and one can cave in during arduous schedules. Meghna is not known to be one of them. She has calmed down over the years and says that if she feels the need to vent, she’ll cry. “It’s a catharsis in its own way,” she says. Bhatt says her endearing moments with Meghna during Raazi were the times when things did not go well: “She would never express herself, but hold her tears, go to a corner, let her emotions out, and come back and start directing.”
Like she did, at the Raazi success bash.