Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.
It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the hell you went.
Life is too short for traffic.
Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.
No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the knights quite fulfils a man’s ego like an automobile.
I drive a motorbike, so there is the whiff of the grim reaper round every corner, especially in London.
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people “the cops”. But you know, sometimes, you’ve just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
Reckless automobile driving arouses the suspicion that much of the horse sense of the good old days was possessed by the horse.
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk back seat driver if he is very persuasive.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?