Is your boss a seductive operational bully?

Why leaders who blend charisma and aggression thrive and how to deal with them

By INSEAD

Published: Aug 14, 2025 01:44:37 PM IST

Updated: Aug 14, 2025 01:52:16 PM IST

If you find yourself caught in the orbit of such a toxic leader, start by questioning the culture around you. Image: Shutterstock

We’ve all come across a SOB. The seductive operational bully is a leader who combines surface-level charm with underlying aggression. They often come across as charismatic, decisive and bold. On first impression, they may even seem like visionary disruptors. But beneath that surface is a pattern of manipulation and narcissism.

They aren’t outright villains in the traditional sense. In fact, they can be humorous and engaging, which is precisely why they’re so dangerous. Their leadership may energise certain followers, but it often devastates the systems and the people that they oversee.

Instead of cultivating teams, SOB leaders build cults. In their world, loyalty is prized until it isn’t. Competence is threatening. Empathy is nonexistent.

This brand of leadership could also be considered a form of “psychopath lite.” They twist the truth, exploit emotion and create an environment of fear and instability. Dissent is punished and ethical behaviour is optional.

Spotting the red flags

So how do you recognise a SOB before you find yourself under their thumb? Often, it starts with the initial charm. These leaders enter with humour and presence. But when the mask slips, their deeply self-centred personality is revealed. They manipulate the truth to suit their narrative and are prone to inappropriate or even abusive behaviour that tests – or breaks – professional norms.

Their workplaces become highly autocratic environments where constructive feedback is punished and performance evaluations feel more like humiliations. Over time, capable and ethical individuals leave, not necessarily for better opportunities, but simply to escape.

Despite these glaring issues, SOBs often ascend the ranks. Why? Charisma sells. Because in many systems, illusionary confidence is rewarded more than competence. And the bold leader who promises quick fixes can seem far more appealing than the careful, thoughtful one who acts with nuance.

Also read: How to handle a toxic boss

But these SOB types don’t climb upwards alone. Their rise is facilitated by sycophants, opportunists and cowards who contribute to the chaos and drive further dysfunction.

When talented people leave in waves and fawning fools are rewarded, it’s likely a SOB is running the show. You may find yourself doubting your own judgment, wondering if you’re being too sensitive or dramatic. That’s not surprising, because gaslighting is an important part of the SOB’s toolkit. Pay attention to who gets pushed out and who gets promoted. Listen to who’s being silenced.

Unfortunately, even when these leaders exit, their playbook often survives them. Their tactics are mimicked by the next generation of strivers who believe that being loud is being strong and ethics are for the weak. This normalisation of dysfunction is perhaps the most insidious legacy of all. What may once have been shocking is now accepted.

How to handle a SOB

If you find yourself caught in the orbit of such a toxic leader, start by questioning the culture around you. Who gets rewarded – and why? Just because others ignore the red flags doesn’t mean that you should. A man screaming or humiliating staff in meetings isn’t a visionary. We need to stop mistaking noise for leadership.

Ultimately, systemic change is essential. Organisations and political systems need stronger safeguards. Leadership should be assessed not just by popularity or performance metrics, but by emotional intelligence, integrity and ethical consistency. In an organisational setting, tools like 360-degree feedback, job satisfaction reviews and culture audits may help prevent these SOBs from rising to power in the first place.

Workplaces that encourage transparency and welcome feedback are far less likely to be hijacked by these opportunists, while cultures that respond firmly to misconduct with accountability can recover faster.

At some point, you must ask: Is staying in an environment created by these SOBs worth the erosion of your well-being? You may want to reassess what’s important to you in life. What are your core values and your personal boundaries? Eventually, you may have to channel your inner courage and walk away with your dignity intact.

Afterall, you don’t defeat a SOB by mimicking their modus operandi. You win by not participating in their madness and refusing to legitimise their game, and if possible, creating something better. Choose to lead with compassion, humility and courage.

And for those who may be involuntary dragged into this spectacle, I hope you’re standing just outside the blast radius, busy building something rooted in values, decency and hope. Of course, SOBs may rise again, but they don’t have to win. Not if we recognise them for what they are, and choose – clearly, consciously and collectively – a better way forward.

[This article is republished courtesy of INSEAD Knowledge, the portal to the latest business insights and views of The Business School of the World. Copyright INSEAD 2025]