11 Apps we would like to see

1. Social Surgeon  
Automatically removes double-chins, dark circles and right awkward jaw positions in photographs where your friends tag you. Essential for those nights out where everyone drinks too much.

2. Talking Points
Scans the room at a party, extracts the names of books, movies, TV shows, etc, and gives you succinct summaries, including reviews. Enough to have a five-minute conversation.

3. Creduliser
Monitors your conversation, and when you make claims that take liberties with the truth, auto-generates Wikipedia pages to back up your statements.

4. ChemisTree
Scans all the people in the room, tracks voice changes, pheromone levels and other body language, and gives you a graphic hierarchy of who seems attracted to you.

5. No Offense
Alerts you when someone nearby might be offended by a certain kind of joke.

6. Ambiencer
Adds the noise of a busy road to a call. Extra plug-ins include airport noise, train noises, and loud parties (for convincing friends you have a social life).

7. LinkedUp
Collates all available information about the people in meetings you’re headed to, and gives you a quick SWOT analysis, summary of your past interactions, and what movie, book or TV show each person has last posted about.

8. SabreLight
Creates a hologram of a light beam emanating from your phone. When with a friend who has the same app, you can duel, Star Wars style, with appropriate sound effects.

9. Mood-E
Uses previous data to predict your significant other’s mood on a given day.

10. Bribe-o-matic
Collates information about bribes paid at, for example, traffic junctions. You key yours in, and other offenders (and you) get to know how much you can haggle down to.

11. The Marauder’s Map
Taken from Harry Potter books, an app that lets you track the movements of your boss in office.