Glossing: When positivity turns toxic in the workplace

There's little to be gained from always smiling and acting enthusiastic at work if you don't feel like it deep down. Image: Shutterstock

It's all very well having a positive attitude at work, but it's not always easy to keep a smile on your face when workloads pile up and stress takes its toll. Yet some employees feel obliged to do so, even if this can prove detrimental.

From loss of motivation to burnout to depression, the mental health of the working population has continued to deteriorate since the Covid-19 pandemic. Yet some employees feel compelled to put on a happy face at the office, as if simply adopting a positive attitude was enough to silence their professional malaise. This is known as “glossing.”

Glossing refers to the practice of suppressing negative emotions at work, whatever the circumstances. This desire to keep up appearances can prove harmful, not only for the employee feigning happiness, but also for their colleagues. But workers who express their true thoughts or concerns may come across as killjoys or troublemakers to their superiors.

After all, in the workplace, the desire to conform often takes precedence. Employees tend to copy their colleagues' way of communicating and working, for fear of being ostracized if they don't conform to their peers' expectations. If they see that their office neighbors are smiling, all day long, they'll feel obliged to do the same, so as not to stand out from the crowd. "I think it's a natural response to anxiety or fear," explains Leena Rinne, global head of coaching at Skillsoft, speaking to Business Insider.

Invalidating emotions

But pretending to be happy at work isn't enough. Worse still, it can actually affect your morale. American researchers came to this conclusion after tracking some 60 bus drivers over a two-week period. During their shift, some of them practiced “surface acting,” ie, feigning positive emotions they weren't actually feeling; while others were more into “deep acting.” The latter tried to put themselves in a good mood by thinking, for example, of happy memories. In a paper published in the Academy of Management Journal, the scientists explain that the bus drivers who pretended to be happy were more disengaged than their other colleagues. Conversely, those who went out of their way to be genuinely happy were far more satisfied with their working lives.

Also read: Workplace toxicity: Tolerance for bad behaviour should stop now

In other words, there's no point in always being smiling and enthusiastic at work, if you don't feel like it deep down. And yet, 51% of employees “frequently” or “always” feel obliged to "act" or "put on a show" at work, according to a survey conducted in 2017 among 5,000 working people. And this insidious pressure often comes from above. Indeed, managers tend, more or less consciously, to value people with natural warmth or friendliness. They like to surround themselves with willing, optimistic employees, who inject positive energy into the rest of the team. And, in theory, there's nothing wrong with that.

But the problem arises when managers create a dysfunctional environment, where employees can no longer express their doubts or discontent. "By asking team members to simply smile more, we may be dismissing or invalidating negative emotions or reactions they are experiencing at work or at home," Lan Phan, author of "Do this Daily" and founder of the leadership development organization “community of SEVEN,” told the Harvard Business Review.

So maybe it's time to stop glossing. Positive thinking is good, but you shouldn't suppress your negative feelings either. The problems you may encounter in your career won't solve themselves just because you're always in a good mood at the office. On the other hand, you'll be able to work through them more quickly if you talk openly about your difficulties to your teammates and superiors—without the need for pretense or forced smiles.