Tinselling: Hiding the cracks in your relationship during the holidays

"Tinselling" involves pretending to be in a perfect relationship during the festive season. Image: Shutterstock

It's not easy to spend the holidays with family and friends when your relationship is on the verge of breakdown. This time of year is not conducive to deep conversations that could lead to separation. Instead, we tend to put our problems aside for the holidays and play the "perfect couple" to avoid indiscreet or embarrassing questions. This is what's known as "tinselling."

In the world of relationships, "tinselling" is a new word that's emerging to describe what could be a familiar situation. This term "draws inspiration from the shiny, cheerful veneer of tinsel which is used to decorate during the festive season, covering what is beneath," Tina Wilson, founder of the dating app Wingman, told Tyla website. In short, "tinselling" is about focusing on the superficial elements of a relationship to give it the appearance of being perfect. 

On the surface, some relationships appear, from the outside, to be flourishing. But when you peel back the veneer, they actually harbor all kinds of issues. And usually, couples don't want to bring up their worries or confront their demons during the festive season. They prefer to pretend they're just fine -- the perfect couple, even. As such, "tinselling" offers a temporary escape from uncomfortable conversations with family and friends, which are usually postponed until a more opportune moment, often in January, synonymous with new beginnings. Unless, of course, the magic of Christmas and the festive season works its magic in the meantime...

According to Tina Wilson, interviewed by Stylist UK, "tinselling" can have a detrimental effect on couples. As the expert points out, couples often tend to embellish their relationship over the festive period, under social and family pressure to embody unity, love and happiness. However, this festive facade can conceal real, troubled feelings. "Christmas papering over those cracks and sticking a bow on for show is a quick fix for some couples to get through the festive season until they feel like they can take proper action," the expert says. However, this approach can lead to more serious problems. "Not communicating openly about your feelings can spark arguments that can lead to resentment and break down the trust between the two of you," she continues. It also removes the possibility of resolving issues that could a couple could potentially work through via more effective communication.

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Indeed, putting off having conversations that are crucial for your relationship just for the holidays doesn't seem advisable. Whether it's Christmas, New Year's, or any other time of the year, it's essential to be authentic in your relationship. Communication remains the key to solving problems and strengthening your bond as a couple. So there's no need to pretend, because there's nothing more precious than a sincere relationship, even during the holidays.